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Ages 5-8
Children in early elementary school may have some of the same
feelings as their younger siblings, but with different appearances.
For children in this age group, it is important to talk about what
will happen in concrete detail. "You will live with Mom, and I will
pick you up and take you to my apartment on weekends."
It is also important to affirm that you still love the child, that
the child did nothing wrong, and that you will still both take care
of the child.
For a child of this age, it might not be best to say, "we stopped
loving each other." That might make the child fear that you will
stop loving him or her. It might be better to say, "we disagreed
too much."
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Sad. The child may be very, very sad. He or she may have deep
feelings of loss and rejection.
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Guilty. The child may feel that he or she caused the divorce by
being jealous of the other parent and wishing the other parent could
be removed.
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Afraid. They may fear that they, too, will be replaced in the
family, like the spouse who left.
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Longing. Boys show an intense longing for their fathers,
especially boys who are the oldest in their families. Boys may bond
quickly with mother's boyfriends, only to mourn all over again when
the boyfriend leaves.
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Neglected. Children this age, old enough to do things for
themselves, but not really old enough to be company for an adult, may
be very deprived of conversation and attention from their parents.
As a result, they can not develop emotionally.
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In denial. Children in denial, when asked about the divorce,
will say things like, "No problem, everything's fine." But then they
will tell fibs embellishing on their home life, or be extremely
fragile and cry or react violently.
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Conflicted. Because of the guilt, they are trying to work out
which parent to be loyal to. They will try to establish a primary
loyalty to one parent, whether or not the parents put them up to this.
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Disclaimer: We are not giving legal advice. No warranties. We disclaim all legal liability. More...
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