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Focus on the Children
There are many reasons people ask for custody that have nothing
to do with the children. Here are some of the reasons
not
to
ask for custody. The wrangling ends up hurting the children and
hurting your ability to work together as parents afterward:
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Punishment. A big part of Jacqueline wants to limit Ed's time with
the children to punish him for everything he's done to hurt her. A
big part of Ed wants to get custody just to punish Jacqueline. But he
resists this temptation.
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Bargaining chip. Ed also thinks custody might be a good
bargaining chip, which he can "give up" at the last minute in order
to win a lower alimony settlement. But if he does this, he will be
encouraged to denigrate Jacqueline's parenting ability and humanity. That
is not good for Ed, Jacqueline, or the children.
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Confusion. Ed's view about how good a mother Jacqueline is has become clouded
and confused with his view of what kind of wife she was.
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Lifestyle. Ed may also be using an attempt to gain custody as a way of
holding onto his pre-divorce lifestyle. If Ed gets the kids, he'll
probably get the house. And then he can continue living his life
relatively unaffected by the divorce.
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Reconciliation maneuvering. And finally, Ed is hoping that
Jacqueline will want to reconcile. By delaying over custody, and by
showing how much he cares about the children, he hopes to push her
into thinking about it.
Again, please, for your own sakes and for the children, try to avoid
any of these approaches to custody discussions.
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Disclaimer: We are not giving legal advice. No warranties. We disclaim all legal liability. More...
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