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Remarriage
Be prepared for your life to become more complicated if you remarry.
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Telling the children. It is only nine months after Lorne's divorce
form Muriel, and Lorne is going to marry Susan, his girlfriend from before
the divorce. Lorne makes sure that the children are the first people
to know. When Lorne tells the children, he arranges with Susan that she
not
be
present. Lorne's children are not happy. The marriage ends their
fantasy of a reconciliation between their parents. They are loyal to
Muriel and they resent Susan for taking their father away from their
mother. (This might happen even if Lorne did not meet Susan until
later.)
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Listening to the children. Lorne listens to his children express these emotions (or things that
have these emotions as their basis.) He accepts that the children
may never love Susan or even really accept her. (The younger the
children, and the older is Susan, the more likely they will eventually
get along.)
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Telling the ex-spouse. Lorne immediately picks up the phone and
calls Muriel. That way, Muriel, too, can hear from Lorne.
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Depression in the ex-spouse. Everyone can expect Muriel to go
into a tailspin. Lorne's remarriage means that the chances of a
reconciliation are finally completely gone. Muriel may also feel
that, while Lorne has found love, she has not. She may feel worthless
and unloved, not to mention betrayed all over again.
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Give yourselves private time. In spite of Lorne's desire to
include the children in his time with Susan, Lorne also makes sure to
devote some time to Susan alone. Since Lorne is not the custodial
parent, this is relatively easy.
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The other spouse's remarriage. Lorne's remarriage puts a lot of
pressure on Muriel to remarry. She competes with Lorne to be
attractive. She feels suddenly lonelier than she felt before. She
also feels her inability to give the children a household that
functions as smoothly as a two-parent household. Wisely, though,
Muriel resists rushing into another marriage. She waits until she
recovers her composure and her sense of self.
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Look before you leap. Muriel is considering marrying Sam. Sam
has been divorced himself. Along with the usual ways one gets to
know another person, Muriel is sure to find out about why Sam's
marriage failed. Muriel and Sam discuss Muriel's calling Sam's first
wife, and Muriel does this. This discussion helps her know whether
Sam will be right for her. Muriel eventually decides to marry Sam.
Muriel's children are unsure about this, but they look forward to
things being calmer and saner around the house.
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